Transitions

*posted by Kayd

I thought I would be more in-tune to the Indian way of life after being with Abhrajeet for seven years and spending much of my days at his house where his grandparents also live and carry out a certain Indian lifestyle, but no one could have told me exactly what I would be experiencing.

Here, family is a big deal. It’s a big deal in America too, but in India people would give up their entire life to support their family. Most of the servants (I really dislike that word so from now on I’ll call them helpers), most of the helpers live in rural India and take a train into the city to work.  The Roy family hires a driver named Mahadev that has been with the family for many years. The driver lives about 2 hours away by car but doesn’t go home so he can be on call whenever someone has to go somewhere. He lives with the other drivers in a complex and only sees his family 2 weeks out of the year. To me this is astonishing and shows so much devotion. My heart breaks a little too – but it is the Indian way of life.  

The Roy family also has two female helpers, Pratima and Neelima, that take care of all the cooking, cleaning, wash and every other task you can think of. They have been with the family for 10 and I’ve been told that many other families are very jealous of the relationship between the helpers and the Roy family. I try to do as many tasks as I can without having to bother them or to ask someone to translate for me but I am scolded each time I am caught busing my own dishes or picking up after myself. I understand it is their job and it’s the Indian system but after working in the restaurant business for many years and with my own upbringing it’s hard for me not to tidy up my mess.  But everyone here has helpers. Everyone here has a specialty they are trained in – whether that be a driver, mechanic, plumber … each person knows how to do one task and they devote the rest of their life to it.

Families also don’t split up and move away after a marriage. You can find 25+ people living in the same house – most of the time the brothers live together and the wives leave their family to live with their husband’s family. People were astonished that Abhrajeet and I were getting our own place 25 minutes away from our parents (which in America is still very close!) It’s kind of like how the Ablans live so close to us – but I could never imagine us all living together (no offense Ann, Gary, Ryan & Alex). It’s great that we all grew up together, can see each other whenever we want, can cut across the lawn to borrow some brown sugar…but it’s also nice to have our own space.

Our coming to India is a huge celebration and each family goes all out when it comes to food preparation. Each thing is delicious – obviously some more than others – and I can’t believe I’m actually eating so much Indian food.  However when you have a huge Indian feast for Breakfast, followed by an even bigger Indian feast for Lunch and then a Ginormous Indian feast for Dinner your digestive system never gets a break and you are ALWAYS full. It’s been quite ridiculous. Even Abhrajeet (who can eat boatloads more than I can) finds himself completely full halfway through his plate.  I’ve been here 4 days and have had 10 HUGE meals – Thankfully one family made me some lasagna! (oh boy 4 days in and I’m already craving Italian food). 

But food isn’t the only thing that people are treating us to. Everyone wants to show us the city they are from. We are traveling all around India and each family we are staying with has a huge agenda they want to treat us to. The generosity is outstanding. 

Taken from the 8th floor. (Man I love my new lens)