The Land of Bhang

*posted by Jeet

Mathura - birthplace of Krishna and one of the holiest cities in India. Ever since I first began planning this trip to India, Mathura was on the list of destinations. The city has intrigued both Indians and foreigners for thousands of years and is ancient in its practices and way of life.

In general I had three overarching goals for our short excursion to Mathura. First, I wanted to bathe in the Yamuna River and see the infamous riverside of Mathura, where the temple ghats go on for many kilometers. The Yamuna is another of India's great holy rivers and bathing in it is said to free oneself from the anguishes of death. My dad had told me that there were also giant tortoises, which sounded pretty awesome too, considering my lifelong love for giant reptiles.

My second goal for the trip was to smoke out with a sadhu. That's right, I wanted to smoke charas with an Indian ascetic/wise man. Charas is high quality, hand made hashish made from the resin of the cannabis plant (in India, the cannabis you find is straight indica, in case my fellow connoisseurs were wondering). Cannabis has been used for spiritual, recreational, industrial, and medicinal purposes in India for thousands of years, and many sects of sadhus utilize different forms of the plant during meditation and spiritual contemplation.

Which brings me to what my third major goal for Mathura was: I wanted to find some bhang. Bhang is basically the leaves and flowers of the cannabis plant mashed together into a paste and is used extensively in drinks during religious ceremonies and festivals in India, in particular the festival of colors, Holi. It is without a doubt the most natural form of cannabis ingestion in India (charas and ganja are both smoked). The god of destruction himself, Shiva, is said to be quite fond of bhang, so much so that one of his titles is The Lord of Bhang. Legit, legit, legit.

Both charas and bhang are available legally throughout India at special government authorized shops. Prior to India's recent adoption of some of the absurd cannabis prohibition laws of the West, all three forms of cannabis were easily obtained throughout the country without legal consequence or harassment. It's amazing how thousands of years of cultural tradition were abandoned to appease the international community, especially since alcohol and tobacco run rampant throughout modern India. Unfortunately, the increased regulation of the plant has only led to more corruption within India's law enforcement - obviously demand and usage of cannabis remains about the same. Luckily, bhang still seems to be a pretty normal and acceptable thing across India - nearly every single person we mentioned it to had something good to say about their own experiences with bhang. Free it up America - it's a first amendment right, and that's no joke.

So back to our Mathura journey.

Mathura is only a short drive from Vrindavan, where we had stayed overnight in the ISKCON mandir complex. After a delicious vegetarian meal at ISKCON's restaurant (one of the central goals of the ISKCON movement is to spread high quality and tasty vegetarian food to all) we checked out and were on our way to Mathura in order to find ourselves some ancient wisdom. Or so we thought.

Once we got into the outskirts of the city, we realized that we really had no idea where the Yamuna River was. My cousins even suggested that we had seen all there was to see in Mathura - there was no river, no sadhus, no bhang. Just a couple of dirty streets, one mandir, and some cows. I was told there was no holy city here - no birthplace of Krishna. But I was adamant - I knew the mythology of this city, and I hadn't traveled across the world for nothing. So, we asked somebody which way the river was. He said we'd have to drive about 12 kilometers and then he'd personally guide us down to the river/tortoises. Bullshit. I said we'll drive/guide ourselves. Remember, EVERYONE in India is a hustler - if you want to do something right, you have to do it yourself.

Of course, after driving the 12 kilometers to another part of the city, we asked another person where the river was. He said we had to drive 12 kilometers back (to where we originally were) and then walk about 4 kilometers down to the banks of the Yamuna. God dammit. So we turned around and went back.

Finally we got back and I was all set to go, along with Arny and Katie. But wait, my cousins didn't seem too keen on making the mini-pilgrimage through the dirty, crowded, and tiny streets of Mathura - where the car wouldn't be able to take them.

Good thing I didn't care, and neither did Arny or Katie.

In fact, Katie was the one who led the way as we started walking through the city. My brother and I followed excitedly, while my cousins got in a rickshaw for the short journey. It seemed like their cushy Delhi upbringing had severely alienated them from the more raw and real side of India. Whatever, the three Americans were having a blast. This is what I had been waiting for - let's get lost in a holy city. Now that's a trip.

Finally, we made it, there was a river! And it was awesome, so why not take a boat ride - there were a bunch of guys with boats trying to get some business. There weren't any sadhus around here, nor were there tortoises, but the boat owner told us that there was bhang nearby, and that we could get some for the boat ride. Awesome, where at? Oh, just right around the corner, at the government authorized shop. Boom baby - balls of squished up ganj, and plenty of people lining up to buy some.

We bought two giant balls of bhang for the American equivalent of about 50 cents, and took them over to a neighboring water/soda shop. There, we paid about 20 cents and the guy made us a couple of drinks using about a fourth of the bhang we'd just purchased, and we were ready to go. Fellow bhang purchasers gave me some glances/words of approval and encouragement, and the whole transaction was pretty baller/hilarious. My cousins suddenly lost interest after seeing the balls of gooey ganj, but again, I didn't really care. Bottoms up.

From there was the boat ride, and it was truly sublime. What a fantastic end to our Mathura journey - short, sweet, and bhang-filled. My brother and I even took a dip in the middle of the river, which means we hit two holy rivers plus the Bay of Bengal at this point - spiritually cleansed indeed. While we relaxed on the river with our drinks, the boat driver told us that everybody in Mathura drinks bhang everyday. The first drink is in the morning, which keeps them happy till around 4:00 PM, and then the second drink keeps them happy till they go to sleep at night. Hilarious. Well done India.

After the boat ride was over we took some rickshaws back to where our car was. Of course, before that, I went back to the soda shop and had another drink made - for the road. Things hadn't even really kicked in yet, but when they did early into the car ride back to Delhi - damn. Shit was intense - and awesome. We had some great conversation, some great relaxation, and some great laughs throughout the ride back to Delhi (don't worry, we had a driver), as we listened to some awesome Indian tabla. Mathura had been amazing - we got lost, we got found, and we got bhang. Easily one of the best days in India.

Hare, hare!